Best seen with
Uncle Santa
R Van Gorder
My childhood's great ambition
Was frustrated because
I couldn't get Aunt Mary
To marry Santa Claus.
With Santa for an uncle,
I reckoned to become
The envy of all other kids
Throughout all Christendom.
A story-telling maiden aunt
And dearly loved was she--
A perfect mate for Santa,
But she she thought differently!
She said, "He simply will not do.
His beard would make a mess
When he ate soup; and I will not
Endure such sloppiness;
And furthermore, if you don't stop
This wearisome pursuit,
I'll booby-trap the chimney--
I"ll fix that darned old coot!"
So Santa's not my uncle
In fact, as I recall,
He's never shown himself to be
Much kin to me at all,
But for the youngsters of today
I have some sound advice:
This coming crop of aunties
Think beards are very nice
So one of you might snag him
For an uncle, if you try,
And I sincerely hope that you
Have better luck than I!
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