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To Help You Deal With Today Author Unknown Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. A closed mouth gathers no feet. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. Each day comes bearing its own gifts; untie the ribbon!

Today Author Unknown I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have. Today, I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free. Today, I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste. Today, I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive. Today, I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born. Today, I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses. Today, I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover relationships. Today, I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do. Today, I can complain because I have to go to school or I can eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge. Today, I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because I have been provided with shelter for my mind, body, and soul. Today stretches ahead of me waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping! What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have! Have a great day . . . Unless you have other plans!

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