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Humor in Politics
"Any American who is prepared to run for President should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so."
Gore Vidal
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
Will Rogers
"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift" ... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git."
Alexai Sayle
"In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes."
Adlai Stevenson
"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."
Ronald Reagan
"The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep."
Clinton aide George Stephanopolous
"The Internet is a gateway to get on the net."
Bob Dole
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter
"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman."
Margaret Thatcher
"I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."
Ronald Reagan
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
George Bush
"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone's tape recording what you say."
Richard Nixon
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
George Bush
"Politics is supposed be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
Ronald Reagan
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
George W Bush
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
Dwight D. Eisenhower
"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
Ronald Reagan
"People who like this sort of thing will find this is the sort of thing they like."
Abraham Lincoln
"When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal."
Richard Nixon
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
Dan Quayle
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Dan Quayle
Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavor your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"
Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, your ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"
"An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination."
Voltaire
"I do not belong to any organized political party: I'm a democrat."
Will Rogers
"Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least."
Robert Byrne
"Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people."
Oscar Wilde
"We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate."
Kim Hubbard
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
George W Bush
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
Hillary Clinton
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