TinChicken's Cyber Coop

Be Patient: lots of graphics and
good information on this page.

[FUZZY]

Best seen with

Notes about this site

[CHICKEN COOP]

[CHICKS]

CHICKEN JOKES AND
MORE CHICKEN JOKES
8-)

[CHICKS]

[WELCOME]

[HOME]

[CHICKS]

A man was driving along a freeway when he
noticed a chicken running along side his car.
He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with
him because he was doing 50 MPH.

He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed
right next to him. He speeded up to
75 MPH and the chicken passed him up.
The man noticed the chicken had three legs.

He followed the chicken down a road
and ended up at a farm. He got out of
his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.
He asked the farmer "What's up with these chickens?"

The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs.
I bred a three legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire."
The man asked him how they tasted.

The farmer said "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."

[CHICKS]

A woman goes to the butcher shop to buy a chicken for the Sunday meal. The butcher has only one scrawny chicken left. He puts it on the scale. "Three pounds," he says.

"That's too scrawny; don't you have something bigger?", she asks.

He pretends to rummage around, and then puts the same chicken back on the scale, while pressing with his thumb. "Three and a half pounds," he says.

The lady replies, "That looks better, I'll take them both."

[CHICKS]

A man was crossing a road one day, when a chicken called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the chicken, and put it in his pocket.

The chicken spoke up again, and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are, and how you are my hero."

The man took the chicken out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The chicken spoke up again, and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."

The man took the chicken out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The chicken then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year, and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the man took the chicken out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the chicken asked, "What is the matter with you? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year, and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, Chick, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking chicken is cool."

I know it looks like a frog joke, but I am desperate.

[CHICKS]

A chicken walks into a bar, hops up on the bar stool,
looks the bartender in the eye and says, "You got any raisins?"

"No, I don't have any raisins!" the bartenders says.
"You'll have to go to the grocery store down the street."

So the chicken hops down and goes off down the street.

The next day the same thing happens. Chicken walks into the bar,
asks for raisins and is booted out by the bartender. On the third day,
the chicken comes in, hops up on the bar stool, and asks for raisins.
The bartender is fed up.

"If you come in here one more time asking for raisins, I'm going to
staple your little feet to the floor."

The next day, however, the chicken returns, hops up on the bar stool
and says, "You got any staples?"

"No, I don't have any staples!"

"Good. You got any raisins?"

What do you mean this was a duck joke?
Hmmm.....Chickens must not be very funny.

[CHICKS]

Once upon a time a quiet, conservative man owned a parrot. Unfortunately for the man, this parrot swore like a sailor. He would swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. This bird's foul mouth was driving the man crazy. One day, it just got to be too much.

The guy grabbed the bird by the neck, shook him really hard, and yelled "QUIT IT!" But this just made the bird mad and he started swearing even more.

The guy really got fed up and said, "OK for you" and locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This only aggravated the parrot who continued to claw and scratch inside the cabinet while he cursed even louder than before!

At this point the guy became so mad that he threw the parrot in the freezer! For the first few seconds the bird started swearing again at the top of his lungs. He kicked and clawed and thrashed.

Then suddenly the parrot was VERY quiet. At first the guy just waited. Then he started to think that the bird might be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he became so worried that he opened the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbed on the man's out-stretched arm and said, "Awfully sorry about all the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man was astounded. He couldn't understand the transformation that had come over the parrot.

Then the parrot said, "By the way, Sir, what did the chicken do?

[CHICKS]

And now for an "ex-pig" joke 8-)

A salesman was traveling through the country when he spotted a farmer working in the barn yard with a one legged chicken hopping around him.

The salesman stopped and asked how the chicken came to have one leg.

The farmer said that a year ago he was going into the barn to milk the cows and was carrying a coal oil lamp. He tripped and hit his head and was knocked unconscious. The lamp started the barn on fire and he would have surely perished if not for the chicken pecking him until he regained consciousness and was able to escape the fire.

The salesman asked "But how did the chicken come to have only one leg?"

The farmer replied "Well, you get a chicken that good you hate to eat 'em all at once."
[HAM CHICKEN]

[CHICKS]

CHICKEN SOLDIERS

Generally, I find that people do not have a great deal of respect for the beneficial effects of poultry in our society. This is a shame, because we could go on and on about our feathered friends and what they have done for us.

For example, during the American revolution, the colonists used hens to sniff out red-coat sympathizers.

Thus, was born ... Chicken-Catch-a-Tory.

[CHICKS]

Why did the egg hide????
Because it was Chicken.

Thanx Angela.

[CHICKS]

Why did the gum cross the road????
Because it was stuck to the Chicken's foot.

[CHICKS]

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

I don't know. You tell me......

Ah ha! An answer!!!!

To prove to the Armadillo that it could be done.
Thanx Kathleen

[CHICKS]

Why did the DUCK cross the road????
Because the Chicken was on vacation!

Thanx Brat. I am still laughing

[CHICKS]

Q: Why do most chicken coops have two doors?
A: Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans.

Thanx Keith, I thot I had heard them all!

[CHICKS]

OK here we go,
the "chicken crossing the road" joke
to end all "chicken crossing the road" jokes
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

(former) IRAQ INFORMATION MINISTER: There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. Besides you could not stand the truth if I told you.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

GEORGE BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

ARISTOLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

BILL CLINTON: What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

L.A.P.D.: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

THE POPE: That is only for God to know.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

SENATOR MC CAIN: He heard there was a fund raiser.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

[CHICKS]

What do TinChickens do
when they are not doing HTML???

[tiger]

Yes, it is a real tiger cub. 10 weeks old
and No, it is NOT mine. Do you think I am crazy. 8-)

Update on the tiger. 12 26 98 He is now 10 months old.

[TIGER 11 26 98]