TOP TEN REASONS GOD CREATED EVE

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

9.  God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. 

8.  God knew that Adam would never go out and get a new fig leaf.

7.  God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself.

6.  God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5.  God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.

4.  As "Keeper of the Garden,"  Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3.  The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on, when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2.  Adam would need someone to change the toilet paper.

And the number one reason God created Eve...

1.  When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that".

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Jesus and Satan were chatting one day, and the subject of computer programming came up. Soon they were engrossed in an argument over who's the better programmer. This debate went on for hours, They finally they agreed to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They sat down in front of their computers, and when God said "Go!" and they began.

For hours they typed furiously, lines of code streaming up both screens. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes nearby and takes out the electricity. Two seconds later, the power comes back, and God announces that the contest is over.

"Satan," God says. "What did you come up with?"

Satan is visibly upset, and cries out, "Nothing! I have nothing!! I lost it all when the power went out!!!"

"Very well. Let's see how Jesus did ..." Jesus smiled, and hit a command on his computer.

Instantly the screen came alive with a magnificent display of light and color, with angelic voices pouring forth from the speakers.

Satan is amazed. "How did he do that? I lost everything!"

How did he do it?"

God chuckles----

"Jesus saves."

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One day two of scientists were talking and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they went to tell Him that they were done with Him.

One walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get leave us alone."

God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest."

To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!"

But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem", and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

"No, no, no!" God said, "Go and get your own dirt!"

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place into his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you". He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, then clicked the flashlight back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so that he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you". Totally rattled, he shone his flashlight around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that"? He hissed at the parrot.

"Yes, the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you".

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are anyway?"

"Moses," replied the parrot.

"Moses", the burgular laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot "Moses?"

The parrot quickly answered, "The same kind of people that would name a Rottwieler Jesus!"

Featuring
"Harley, the Rottweiler"
1994 - 2001
Rest in Peace
Faithful Servant and Friend
used with permission of Baby Tunie

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