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Notes about this site

BITS & PIECES

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
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I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust"
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so, I wondered what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps, toothpicks?
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? And, for that matter, why didn't they keep them when they took their picture?
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I thought about being rich and it don't mean so much . . . Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!
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If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?
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I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve, "Watch it! There are plenty more ribs where you came from!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have decided that Nostalgia is the VCR of our minds.
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Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
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I'm not into working out! My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
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The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
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Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents

Thanx Earl
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If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
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I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
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Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
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The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
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Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
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If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
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Help wanted: Telepathy ... you know where to apply.
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Smile, it's the best thing you can do with your face.
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Refuse Novacaine... Transcend Dental Medication.
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Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
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Never wrestle with a pig:
You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie'... till you can find a rock.
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Anything not nailed down is mine.
Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.
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Despite the rising cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
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Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom
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Hang up and drive.
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Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

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